Deals and Demons
by Ivy Lee
Summary: A mysterious woman catches Dean's attention in a bar, but she's not what she seems. Is she friend or foe? Her claims seem impossible, but maybe...? *Takes place S14, after E03 but before E07. Gay content ahead.*
1. Chapter 1

Dean had noticed the attractive woman at the end of the bar when he'd come in, and he definitely noticed how she kept looking at him. She'd turn away as soon as he looked at her, but he was sure she was watching him. Dean wasn't sure if he should be aroused or suspicious.

Purely on looks, Dean was leaning towards aroused. Good figure, dressed to show it off in tight-fitting denim and leather, with dark green hair and a few piercings in each ear. He briefly wondered if the carpet might match the drapes.

Dean sincerely hoped he didn't need to be suspicious. They'd managed to get rid of the vengeful spirit they'd been hunting (a boring, uneventful hunt, really), and Dean just wanted to relax, maybe let off a little steam, before he and Sam headed back tomorrow.

As Dean got up to play pool or go to the bathroom throughout the evening, he could feel the woman's eyes on him, but she never made any move to approach and kept feigning disinterest whenever he looked directly at her.

Dean eventually decided direct was best. He figured he'd either get lucky or get the coming fight over with on his terms. He approached the woman. She looked startled, like a deer in headlights, as he walked towards her. As Dean got closer, he could see the woman was quickly trying to rearrange her face into something resembling an amused smile. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked her with a confident grin.

The woman actually blushed a bit. "Oh, I, ah... sure!" she stammered. "Grasshopper, please." The way she wouldn't look Dean in the eye and instead flicked her gaze around other parts of Dean's face and body was suspicious, but maybe that was down to some shyness.

Dean chuckled at the girly drink she wanted and smiled. "Sure," he said and turned to get the bartender's attention. When he'd made the order, he turned back. "So, what's your name?" he asked. Dean took a swig of his beer.

The woman looked chagrined. "Caught me looking, didn't you?" she asked, instead of answering.

"You weren't exactly subtle about it," Dean replied, amusement coloring his tone.

The woman sighed and muttered, "I thought I was," as her drink arrived. She gulped it down quickly, seeming a bit nervous. She took a deep breath, seeming to psych herself up before speaking. When she did speak, she looked off to the side and at the floor. "I don't normally do this kind of thing, but you're..." her eyes flicked back to Dean's face briefly and then down to his chest before flicking back sideways to the floor. She swallowed. "Very attractive. I'm staying at that motel nearby. You wanna come back to my room with me?" Her cheeks flooded with more color. After a pause, she added, "I have more booze."

Dean wanted to burst out laughing. This chick was really cute in her shyness. And she was pretty obviously telling the truth about not usually doing this sort of thing. "You move fast," he commented instead of replying. The woman smiled painfully and turned away, reaching for her purse as she got up. Her hand paused on the strap as Dean continued, "I didn't say I wasn't interested." She looked back up at him in surprise, them quickly looked back down, smiling. He drank down the rest of his beer and, beginning to hope this was on the up and up (against his better judgement), told her to lead the way.

She left the bar, turning right once out the door. She turned the corner of the building, and Dean followed just a few steps after her. Instead of continuing to follow the sidewalk to the motel, the woman suddenly disappeared around the corner to the back of the building. Son of a bitch, I knew I shouldn't've gotten my hopes up, Dean thought as he trotted to catch up with her. When he turned the corner, she was leaning against the brick wall, waiting for him. She stared at him, still not quite meeting his gaze and looking instead at somewhere in the vicinity of his chest, with her arms crossed under her chest. She spoke suddenly. "I know who you are, Dean."

Dean's adrenaline spiked, and he reacted instinctively. He pushed her up against the wall with one forearm across her chest and shoulders, leaning his full weight on the arm. He leaned down so his face would be right in her face, his intention to intimidate. He put a hand on his Angel Blade, just in case. "Who are you?" he growled at her. For her part, the woman made no move to defend herself, her hands tensely splayed against the wall behind her. She finally met Dean's gaze with tense eyes as, in reply to his question, the woman's eyes, irises and whites alike, turned opaque black.

Dean flicked out the Angel Blade in an instant and held the point against the woman's side where he could easily stab up behind her ribs and into her heart. She actually gasped a little as she felt the tip of the Blade. She closed her eyes and her face tensed up, clearly expecting what usually came next with Dean and demons.

But it was that expectation that made Dean pause. After a beat or two of holding her breath, the woman briefly opened one eye to look at him, then closed it again. "Just do it," she whispered.

Dean's hand involuntarily pulled the Blade away from her side in confusion. "Come again?" he asked as he let a little weight off of her.

The woman let out an explosive sigh and opened her eyes again. She looked somewhat downward as she said with thick exasperation, "You so don't live up to your reputation, Dean. I really thought you'd kill me immediately once you knew what I am."

Dean struggled to catch up. "You wanted me to kill you?" The woman nodded. "Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I'm surprised you don't get more of this." She raised an eyebrow and her eyes turned inward for a moment. "Or maybe that's why fatalities are so high among the henchmen," she muttered. She shook her head and looked up again, still not quite meeting Dean's eyes. "Anyway, I'd think it was pretty obvious. Being a demon sucks, so I want you to send me to The Nothing. Please."

"What the hell? No!"

"Please, Dean. You've killed so many other demons, so what if it's one who wants to die? What's one more?"

Dean sheathed his Blade and turned away, letting his arm fall to his side. "No." He began to stalk off.

"I'll follow you until you do it!" she yelled.

Dean sighed and turned back around. "Why me?"

"You have the right weapon for one, and for two you were just easier to get to. Do you think I should've asked Sam?"

Dean's eyebrows came together in consternation. "Lots of people have Angel Blades now."

The woman blinked rapidly several times. Eventually, she replied, "Oh, really? I've been out of the loop for a while now. Well, that makes things easier. Who's the worst hothead among the hunters with Angel Blades?"

It was Dean's turn to be rendered momentarily speechless. He shook his head. "Okay, just, first off, no. I'm not telling you where hunters are or who they are. Second, this feels all kinds of wrong." The woman sighed, hanging her head to the side in seeming exhaustion. "Okay, look, all I can think is you should come with me."

The woman looked back up with a wry smile. "Fine. Whatever, I guess."

A rune carved into her flesh to keep her locked into her vessel and some handcuffs later, Dean lead the demon woman back to the crappy motel he'd walked to the bar from. He put his jacket over her shoulders to hide the cuffed hands behind her back. He kept one arm around her shoulders, squeezing his hand into her shoulder to lead her. She remained silent through the walk.

Dean opened the motel room door and pushed the demon through first, calling out to Sam as he did so. When Dean entered the room, Sam was standing by his computer and began walking toward him. "What the hell, Dean?" Sam asked, throwing his arms wide in exasperation.

Dean let go of the demon's shoulder. "Got a suicidal demon here, Sammy."

Sam's eyebrows flew up to his hairline. "She attacked you? Are you okay?"

Dean shot the demon a look. "Nah, she flashed her eyes black at me and expected me to kill her."

Sam paused a beat before responding with a confused, "What?"

"Dean's such a hothead, supposedly, that I really thought he'd kill me on sight. I guess I should've tried to be more menacing," the woman supplied.

Sam was obviously struggling with the idea as much as Dean had. "You… wanted Dean to kill you?"

"Yes!" she cried in exasperation. "What's so hard to understand about this for you two? Jesus! You guys have killed, like, a thousand demons, so kill me already!"

Dean rolled his eyes. "See what I mean? Nuts!"

"Oh, it's quite logical," she said as she turned back to Dean.

"How, exactly?"

"Look, you might not believe this, but I wasn't really that bad of a person. I just didn't believe it was real when I took the deal, okay? I hate what I am, and after the last several years on the run, I just want this to end." After her speech, she suddenly sat down on the floor, hard. She hung her head and spoke to the floor. "Please," she said in a small, broken voice.

Dean and Sam looked at each other, unsure of what to do.

Dean was still suspicious of her. "If you're 'not that bad,' then whose meat suit you wearin'?"

The woman continued to speak to the floor. "Real sad. She OD'd on heroin. I jumped in after her soul was out. Just another vagrant gone missing from her corner."

Dean snorted a bit. "Bull. Shit."

She shrugged. "Believe what you want. I didn't get her memories, so I don't know much about her, other than her name was Christie and her pimp was a weak schmuck who went by T-Bone. That's how I got my startup cash; I beat him up, took his cash, and dropped him off at the hospital. Honestly, I don't feel bad about that one."

Sam and Dean shared another look. It was becoming increasingly difficult for either of them to believe this was an act.

Dean ran his hand through his hair. "Look, I dunno what to do, so…." He threw another look at Sam, who nodded. "We're gonna have you sit tight for a bit."

Dean undid the cuffs and ushered the woman to a chair. Sam tossed him some rope, and Dean tied the woman to the chair. Afterward, he pulled out a phone and tapped it a few times. He put it to his ear and began talking as he left the room. "Cas? Where are you?" Any other words were lost as Dean closed the door behind him.

Sam, meanwhile, sat back down at his laptop.

The woman sat in silence until Sam finally broke it. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Iris."

"Okay, Iris, where did you beat up the pimp?"

"Detroit."

Sam continued working at the computer, occasionally asking Iris a question, until Dean came back inside. "Cas will be here in a few hours."

Sam grunted in response. He continued working at the computer while Dean lied down on one of the beds. At first he tapped at his phone for a bit, but he eventually returned the phone to his pocket and closed his eyes. When there was a knock at the door a few hours later, Dean got up immediately and was the one to open the door. "Hey, Cas," he greeted as the angel entered the motel room.

"Hello, Dean," he replied.

"Hold up, you've got a goddamn Angel on speed dial?" Iris exclaimed. Her face was draining of color.

Dean gestured to Iris. "Well?"

Castiel crossed the room and crouched in front of the chair. He closed his eyes and touched two fingers to the demon woman's forehead. Iris's eyes rolled up into her head and began to glow white. Tears streamed down her face. Her fingers gripped the arms of the chair and her feet strained against the restraint of the rope. She began to pant, and she soon screamed, "Stop! Stop! It hurts!" Castiel opened his eyes and took his fingers away from the woman's forehead just as she began to let out a painful wail. She immediately slumped forward, hanging her head and panting.

"Jesus, Cas, what did you do to her?" Dean asked.

"I was looking into her vessel, as you asked. Any contact with my essence is incredibly painful for a demon. As far as I can tell from my search, she is telling the truth about possessing a vessel whose soul had already left." Castiel turned to talk directly to the demon. "How is it that I could only see your true face and how damaged your soul was by looking inside?" he asked.

Sam and Dean turned quickly to look questioningly between the angel and the demon at that. Iris just panted for several seconds before answering. "A spell," she eventually managed. "I'd be caught and sent back to Hell pretty quickly without it, don't you think?" Her voice was still pretty breathy.

"Seriously? That's… that's possible?" Sam asked incredulously.

Castiel turned to Sam. "Evidently. When I first walked in, I could have almost mistaken her for a human. But delve into her mind, and it becomes clear very quickly what she is. I must say, though, she is surprisingly sane and her soul surprisingly intact for demon, even after seeing what truly lies beneath the spell."

"Sane? She wants us to kill her!" Dean exclaimed.

"Given her other options, maybe that is the most sane choice, Dean," the angel replied in his usual intense gravel.

Sam suddenly turned and sat back down at his computer. "Check this out, guys," he said, ushering them over. "Everything she told me checks out. I found a woman named Christie Madsen in Detroit who had a string of drug arrests until several years ago. Also found a police report of a Timothy 'T-Bone' Miller being dropped off in front of the emergency room in critical condition, and his car turning up abandoned just outside of town. I even found the obituary and the report of the 'animal attack' of one Iris Leahy. I think she's telling the truth."

At the end of Sam's report, there was a brief silence as the three men shared a look. It was broken by Iris's voice. She had sat back up, but now her head was flopped onto the back of the chair and she had her eyes closed. "Hey, that's great and all, but what does it matter? Couldn't you just kill me either way?"

"There's… there might be another option," Sam said slowly, turning from the computer and looking at the woman. Dean threw Sam a look that clearly asked if Sam knew what he was doing.

Iris didn't move or open her eyes. "What?" she asked in a flat tone.

Sam got up and stood in front of the chair, looking down on the demon tied to it. "We could redeem your soul," Sam said slowly.

Iris let out a bitter laugh and opened her eyes but didn't lift her head. "Good one. Very funny."

"It's true," Dean said. Iris's eyes darted over to him. "I was a demon for a little while, and that's what brought me back."

The woman narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What does that even mean?"

Iris's head came back up when Castiel spoke. "It is a long story, but it means that you could be human again. More, it means that your soul could go to Heaven next time you die."

"Impossible," Iris said flatly.

Sam tapped her hand to get her to look at him. He crouched down to look her in the eyes. "We're telling you it's not only possible but that we've done it before," he said in an earnest, even eager, voice. "What have you got to lose by letting us try?"

Iris sighed. "Not much, and I guess I don't have a choice now, as your captive," Iris paused briefly as Dean snorted, "but, I mean… People are dicks, you know? How do you know I'll be a human that was worth the trouble of redeeming?"

"Either way, humans are easier to kill," Dean rumbled. Sam frowned and shot Dean a look. "What? It's true!"

Note: What do you guys think of this premise? Interesting enough to continue?


	2. Chapter 2

Iris was taken back to "The Bunker", whatever that was, with a bag over her head. She spent the ride there lying down in Baby's (apparently what Dean called his car) back seat with her hands and feet cuffed. Nobody said much on the way there. Once they arrived, Dean said, "It's probably easier to carry you," and she was thrown over someone's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Some time later, she was lowered into a hard, uncomfortable chair. She heard and felt the cuffs taken off and new restraints being put on her and then, at last, the bag was whipped off her head.

The Winchester brothers and the angel were there, but now there was the addition of a younger man and an older, blonde woman.

The woman spoke first, glaring daggers at Iris. "I don't believe it. A 'decent' demon? Who sent you?"

"No one sent me," Iris responded. She met the woman's gaze and did her best to put the battle fatigue she felt into her voice. "I've been on the run for years. Even with the spell disguising me, I've had a lot of close calls, and I'm tired of running."

The woman sighed and shook her head, apparently not on board for what was about to happen. She looked askance at the men in the room. "Is it dangerous?" she asked.

"No, as long as the person doing it is not trying to complete the Trials," Castiel supplied. The frown the woman kept indicated she still wasn't happy about this.

"This will take a while to set up, so just sit tight," Sam explained to Iris. He turned back to the others. "I guess since I'm the only one with experience, I should-" Sam began.

"I want to do it," Dean cut in. "Seems like… I dunno, just seems like I should."

Sam looked taken aback. "Uh, okay, Dean. Sure."

Everyone left, apparently to gather the supplies, the younger man asking why they couldn't watch and wanting more information about the procedure. Iris heard the angel promise to take the younger man to the archives before their voices became too distant to hear. It seemed that she was in a hidden room at the back of some kind of storage room. She saw the storage room briefly as the access closed behind those leaving, and Iris was plunged into darkness.

*

"So, I need to inject you with this blood every hour for eight hours. Then I'll say some words, cut my hand, and put my hand over your mouth, and you'll be human again," Dean explained some time later, having brought into the room everything he needed.

"I wish you hadn't told me that," Iris replied. "You know how crazy that sounds, right?" Dean just raised an eyebrow in response. Iris rolled her eyes. "Okay, point taken. Let's just get this insanity over with."

They got through the first few injections without much happening. Dean would leave after each injection, leaving Iris in the dark once again. It was after the fourth injection that Iris started getting sweaty and looking a bit agitated. She was obviously struggling, and she was taking deep, slow breaths to ride out whatever was going on inside of her. "Definitely feeling something," she said breathily, gasping out a strained laugh at her own comment.

By the time Dean came back for the seventh injection, Iris was breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. She was also crying silent tears. "Okay, second to last one. Almost there," Dean reassured her in a low rumble.

"Dean," Iris suddenly said in an urgent tone. Her nose and eyes were red from the crying, and she struggled to talk past her gasping breaths. "I have to tell you something."

Dean tensed up, pulling the needle back in hesitation. _Here comes the truth_ , he thought. _I'll bet she's going to tell me what her real plan was, and who sent her._

Dean was surprised, however, when she said, "I'm not a good person. I took the deal, the one everyone takes eventually. I started torturing to get off the table." She choked out a sob. "And I…" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I enjoyed it. God help me, I enjoyed it." Tears streamed freely down her face now. She looked up at Dean with bloodshot, desperate eyes. "How do I live with that? How can I?" Her head dropped back down. "You should have killed me like I asked you to," she finished dejectedly.

Dean was thunderstruck. He could have been listening to himself from another time. But he didn't know what to say. It wasn't like he'd really figured out the answers to her questions himself. "Look, just… Hang on, okay?" Dean ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "It's… it probably won't seem so bad when we're done," he continued lamely. Dean wasn't good with this kind of thing. Aside from his "no chick flick moments" policy, he just couldn't think of anything good to tell her. Telling her that he hated himself for the same thing didn't seem like it would be very helpful, even if he did dredge up the courage to say it."You'll be human again soon, and things will seem… better." It sounded lame, even to his own ears. But she nodded, head drooped forward, tears dripping down to absorb into her jeans.

An hour later, Dean administered the final injection. He cut his hand and began saying the incantation. " _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Hanc animam redintegra_ ," he chanted. Iris's eyes turned black as soon as Dean had started speaking, an inhuman noise ripping from her throat as she jerked against the restraints. Dean put his bloody hand over the demon woman's mouth. " _Lustra!_ _Lustra!_ " Dean cried. As he did so, there was a bright flash of white light, and he was forced to look away, taking his hand away from Iris's mouth as he did so. When the light subsided, he looked back at her. She was slumped forward in the chair, quiet. Dean lifted her face, noticing the blood smeared in a jagged line across her mouth. He lightly slapped her cheek, grimacing as he accidentally smeared blood on her chin. "Hey, come on, wake up!" Dean said in a low but urgent voice.

Iris groaned and opened her eyes. They rolled around a bit before they focused on Dean. He saw that they were no longer black and had returned to being blue. "Well, that was… unpleasant," she grunted in a rough voice. "But I…" she trailed off, her eyes widening. "I can't believe it, but it worked!"

"Sorry, but I'm gonna need some proof," Dean said. He turned back to the table where the injections and blade had been to retrieve a glass of water that had also been waiting there. "Drink," he commanded as he lifted the glass to her lips. She swallowed the liquid gratefully. Dean watched her expectantly.

Once he pulled the glass away, still watching her, Iris's eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, was that holy water?"

Dean nodded as he wound a bandage around his bloody hand. He turned and walked out of the room calling, "Guys, I think it worked!" A few minutes later, the group of five from before trooped back in to look at Iris critically. "Cas?" Dean prompted.

Castiel stepped forward, two fingers already reaching out toward the woman's forehead. Iris flinched, expecting it to be painful, but her expression soon relaxed. It didn't take long for Castiel to open his eyes and let his hand drop back down to his side. "She is human."

"Okay, let's get her cleaned up," Sam said, coming forward to undo her restraints. Castiel and Dean helped steady Iris as they lead her down a hallway and into a bedroom.

"I'm good. You can go," she said once she was seated on the edge of the bed.

The older woman handed Iris a damp washcloth to get the blood off her face. "Okay, we'll keep someone nearby, so call out if you need anything. I'm Mary, by the way," she said. _Good way to subtly tell me they'll be watching me_ , Iris thought as she cleaned off her face. Once everyone left, she kicked off her shoes and crawled into the bed. _What should I do now?_ she thought helplessly as she drifted off to sleep.

*

Iris woke up some time later. Luckily, she couldn't remember having had any dreams. She tried not to think and instead focus on her physical needs. She just wasn't yet ready to face what being human again would mean. She got up and went to the door. When she opened it, an attractive redhead who'd been sitting in a chair across from the door stood up, scooping up a pile that had been on the floor beside the chair. "Hi, Iris! I'm Charlie. How ya feelin'?"

"Good to meet you, Charlie." Iris held one hand up and counted off on her fingers. "I'm in need of water, bathroom, shower, and food. In that order."

Charlie laughed. "I like your efficiency."

Charlie helped Iris get her needs taken care of. Once finished with her shower and in clean clothes, Charlie convinced Iris to hold off on the food for a while so that they could eat dinner with, "everyone who's here right now." The pair returned to Iris's room to talk in the meantime. Charlie started by telling Iris a bit about Apocalypse World and how the human refugees ended up living here in the Bunker.

"You're saying that, even though Heaven won, instead of making good on their promises, they embarked on a campaign to kill all the remaining humans? _W_ _hy?_ I thought angels were the _good_ guys from the human point of view?"

Charlie smiled wryly. "You don't know much about angels, do you? All I can think is that angels want submission. Absolute obedience. Because we wouldn't fall in line, they saw us as corrupted. At least, that's the conclusion I came to from what little I've heard from Cas about Angels in general." Charlie glanced at the clock on the bedside table. She chuckled. "That took longer to explain than I thought it would. Ready for dinner?"

Iris nodded. Dinner turned out to include, aside from Charlie and the five people from before, a handful of other folks from Apocalypse World. Iris was introduced to them but promptly forgot their names. They all talked about Iris's redemption over dinner. The younger man from before whose name turned out to be Jack asked, "Does this mean we should be trying not to kill demons? If we can save them instead?"

Castiel, who wasn't eating and simply joined in conversation, shook his head slowly. "I don't think so, Jack. I understand why you would think so, but…."

Sam cut in. "Think about how we usually encounter demons, Jack. They're usually trying to kill us. And usually it's the kind of battle where we're outnumbered and just trying to survive. It's why we've pretty much stopped using exorcism, too. If we exorcise them, there's always the possibility that they could come back, and not all demons respond to exorcism anyway. Trying to capture and redeem demons would really increase the chances of one of us getting hurt or killed."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Jack said thoughtfully. He still looked unhappy, though.

"Honestly, we kinda forgot about it until," Dean paused before gesturing vaguely in Iris's direction, "this."

Iris frowned. "I'm not a 'this'."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Shouldn't we spread the knowledge, at least?" Jack asked, clearly still dissatisfied.

Mary tilted her head. "You know, that might not be a bad idea. If more people had this knowledge, I'm sure the demons would get wind of it and maybe even be scared by the possibility." Others at the table agreed, and a plan was made to spread the word.

Everyone was almost finished, and Iris thought she'd get through the meal without having to think too much. But then someone did ask the question Iris had been dreading. "So, what happens now?" The question had been asked by one of the refugees whose name Iris couldn't remember.

Iris looked down at her now empty plate. "I don't know," she said in a voice that sounded small to her own ears. "I can't exactly step back into my old life. Honestly, I…" Iris swallowed against the thickness that had suddenly gathered in her throat. "I don't even really remember how to be human. Having biological needs again is…" Iris trailed off.

"Annoying?" Castiel supplied.

She laughed a bit shakily. "Yeah, actually."

"You can stay here until you get your footing," Mary offered. Iris looked at her and was surprised to see what seemed to be genuine concern on Mary's face. She was a bit tempted to be suspicious of her motives but ultimately decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Thank you," Iris responded with all the sincerity she could muster.

That seemed to be the signal to break up the party. Someone asked Charlie if she was going to take off as planned, but she responded that she'd rather stick around, "while things stayed interesting." She threw Iris a surreptitious wink, and Iris started in surprise. Charlie still departed the room, though, saying she needed to do some research. "Bye, bitches!" she sang as she walked off.

After placing her dishes into Mary's outstretched hand, Iris decided to seek out Castiel and just managed to catch seeing a tan trench coat as it disappeared down a corridor. She trotted to catch up, finally getting his attention as he entered what must have been the Archives. He turned around as he heard her approach. "Castiel, can I ask you something?" The Angel nodded, so Iris went on, though she felt a little cowed under that intense, blue gaze. "With where my vessel came from and me being human now, can you, um, well… can you cure me of anything that might be wrong with my vessel? It occurred to me I might have a ton of medical issues I wouldn't know about."

Castiel looked surprised. "Oh! I see! I healed you of your vessel's major injuries, of course, so that you would not perish upon becoming human. But looking for other disease had not occurred to me. Of course, I will help you." Castiel again reached for Iris's forehead with two fingers, closing his eyes as he did so. Iris also closed her eyes. Her mind's eye went completely white while a comforting warmth filled her from head to toe. She opened her eyes when Castiel pulled his fingers away. "You are now starting with, as it were, a clean slate."

"Thank you," Iris said again, thinking that this had been the most sincere thank-yous she'd uttered in hundreds of years.

"You're welcome." Castiel could see that she had more to ask and tilted his head as he stared at her.

"God it is unnerving to look at you and see only your vessel," Iris muttered. She blushed and looked away. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that out loud." She rubbed the back of her neck, looking to the side and at the floor.

"I must admit that it is rather surprising to look at you and see only a human," Castiel responded. "But I assume that is not what you still wished to ask me."

Iris shook her head. "No, I, uh… do you remember when you rescued Dean from Hell? What it was like? What he was like? At the time?"

Castiel's eyes turned soft. "Yes. It is a horrible place. The memory of it must be a terrible burden for you."

"Yeah, but…that's not…" Iris sighed. Her eyes flicked up to Castiel's face and then back down. "Never mind. Um, I kinda need to talk to Dean. Know where I can find him?"

The Angel looked taken aback, but he told Iris that she could probably find Dean in the media room and where to find said media room. Iris thanked him again and left.

After a few wrong turnings, Iris finally found the media room and was relieved to find Dean alone within. She shut the door behind her as she entered. Dean looked up at the noise and tensed when he saw Iris and the closed door. She put her empty hands up in a placating gesture. "I'm not going to hurt you; I just want to talk."

Dean frowned and looked back at the TV. "If it's about what I think it is, I sure as hell don't." Undeterred, Iris came over to the couch. She sat down, picking up the remote and turning the TV off. Dean retreated from the middle to the opposite end of the couch, staring at Iris suspiciously. "You're really not making me feel more like talking right now."

Iris folded her hands in her lap. "We need to talk about what I said, Dean, because there's more."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "More? Whaddya mean, 'more'?"

Iris folded her hands in her lap and took a deep breath. "I told you I took the deal. And you knew what I was talking about." Iris flicked her eyes back towards Dean's face, but his expression hadn't changed a hair. She looked back at her hands again. "I know why that is."

"I assumed basically everyone in Hell had heard about that," Dean replied dryly.

"Yeah, but… Well, I have, um, personal knowledge."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Dean was starting to sound alarmed.

"There's a reason I sought you out. There's a reason I approached you, beyond what I already said. There's a reason I wanted you to be the one to end my suffering." Iris took a shaky breath and braced herself for Dean's reaction.

"Dean, I am one of the souls you tortured in Hell."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I wanted to say thanks for the favorites, bookmarks, and reviews. They've really encouraged me to keep working on this. I hope y'all enjoy it!** "

*

What did you just say to me?" Dean asked in a low but dangerous voice.

Iris swallowed against the fear that had bubbled up in response to Dean's quiet anger. _Shit. I have to convince him to listen to me. He might be too angry to listen._ She couldn't look at Dean, so she talked to her hands. "You probably think I'm lying. But I am one of the souls you tortured in Hell. I know I was one of the early ones, because Alastair was there. He was-"

"Bullshit!" Dean yelled, cutting her off. Iris looked up, surprised into looking at him with his outburst. Dean's face was red with rage. He jumped up from the couch. "I'm not listening to this," he growled, starting to stalk off.

"Wait, please! I'm not saying this to hurt you!" Iris cried. She began to stand up as well and desperately grabbed Dean's wrist to keep him from leaving.

Dean turned back and slapped Iris's arm away with his other hand. A resounding smack rended the air.

Iris cried out and dropped back down onto the couch. She clutched her arm to her chest.

Dean stared at her with wide eyes, all color draining from his face. "Oh God, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…. Are you hurt? I can't believe I just-"

Iris waved the uninjured arm in a dismissive gesture, but it was slightly undercut when that hand returned to rubbing her smarting forearm. "No, I'm fine, I shouldn't have grabbed you. I got physical first, so it's my fault, really."

"But I-" Dean began to splutter.

"Please, Dean, I'm all right." Iris was able to meet Dean's gaze now. She held it as she continued, "Will you sit back down and hear me out? Please?" Iris kept her voice gentle. "Honestly, I'm not trying to hurt you."

"I don't see how you'd think you could tell me that and not hurt me," Dean replied, but his voice was sad and tired now. He sat back down, his posture less tense and more defeated. It seemed the fire of his anger had gone right out.

"I guess I knew it would hurt at first, but I'm hoping we can help each other out. I feel guilty about what I did in Hell, and I'm guessing you still do, too, even after all these years." It seemed as though Dean would try to deflect or deny it, but Iris was surprised when he looked up to the ceiling and started blinking rapidly. He gave her a curt nod.

"Despite my best efforts not to think about it," Iris continued, "the back of my mind has been working overtime on the subject. And here's the thing: everyone breaks, Dean. Everyone takes the deal eventually." Iris stopped rubbing her arm and returned her hands to her lap. _This isn't even going to bruise… it mostly just surprised me._

Dean's lips pursed and his eyebrows came together in disagreement. "But my father-"

"As it happens," Iris cut in, "I know something about that. I got close to someone who knew way more than he had any right to. And John Winchester was a special case... _because he didn't have a brother._ "

Dean looked at Iris in confusion. "Come again?"

"John Winchester was someone who some thought could have broken the First Seal, but he didn't, because he didn't have an equal opposite to play Lucifer. My contact thought, and I agree, that Fate, or God, or whatever, was at work here, and it was always going to be brother versus brother, a mirror image to the angelic brothers."

Dean's eyes widened in understanding. "You mean…?"

"John Winchester couldn't have said yes any more than you could have said no forever. Because if he had said yes, it would have undone the First Seal, and that just didn't fit into the narrative. Remember, Heaven and Hell were working together to bring about the Apocalypse. Heaven specifically waited until after you said yes to rescue you because they wanted you to break the Seal. And Hell let them rescue you because it was necessary for you to be Michael's vessel, even if the grunts on the ground didn't know that."

Dean's eyes were far away as he thought for a moment. But then he focused on Iris again and sighed. "Okay, but that still doesn't excuse… I mean… I'm… like you, I…" Dean took a deep breath and looked away to the floor. "I liked it."

"Did you ever think that maybe you didn't have any more choice in that than you did on whether or not to take the deal in the first place? The sheer relief of not being tortured anymore is heady stuff, but there's also the fact that Hell has been in the business of rewiring people's brains, stripping them of their humanity, and turning them into demons for, given the time difference involved here, possibly a million years now. They're very good at it."

Dean shook his head, stubbornly refusing to look back up. "I get what you're saying but… it doesn't really matter. I mean, I still _feel_ bad about it."

Iris scooted a little closer to Dean on the couch. She put her hand out to him, palm up. "As someone you formerly tortured, I forgive you, Dean. _I_ am positive you didn't have any choice in the matter. I know that might not help you forgive yourself, but I hope you'll at least think about it."

Dean sighed. He finally looked back up and gave Iris a wry smile. "No promises."

Iris returned the smile in kind. After a beat, she said, "Actually, there is one promise I'd like you to make me." Dean raised an eyebrow but said nothing in response. "Please talk to Castiel about this."

Dean started slightly at the unexpected request. "Cas? Why?"

"Because he's been to Hell and knows how it works, because he rescued you, because he'd back up what I'm telling you," and here Iris paused to bring some emphasis to her final point, "and because he cares about you."

"How the hell do you know that?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Because he defied Heaven for you. And I don't know everything that's gone down since then, but the fact that he's still here is pretty compelling."

Dean shrugged. "Fine, whatever. I'll talk to him."

Iris smiled, a warm smile this time. "Thank you. Now, I think I've done enough damage for one evening, so I'm gonna go. Unless there's anything you'd like to talk about?"

Dean barked a laugh. "No. Absolutely not."

As Iris was about to open the door to leave, she was surprised to hear Dean speak again. "Wait." Iris looked back to see Dean's head cocked to one side, like she'd noticed Castiel do when he was curious. "You said you wanted to have this conversation to help us both. How did this help you?"

She smiled sadly. "I'm hoping that in forgiving you, I'll be able to find a way to forgive myself."

*

 _How is it that I've only been awake a few hours and I already want to go to bed?_ Iris thought as she trudged back to her room. She had no sooner flopped face first into the bed, however, than she heard a light knock on her door. "Come in," she replied, the reply muffled by the mattress.

Whoever her visitor was must have heard her despite the muffling and entered, closing the door behind them. Iris heard a chuckle from behind her that warmed her heart a bit. "This a bad time?" Charlie asked, the laughter still coloring her tone.

Iris groaned as she flopped over and sat up on the bed. But she smiled at Charlie once she was up. "For you? I think I can muster up the energy. What's up?"

Charlie smiled and set her laptop down on the desk. She then pulled the chair around from the desk to face Iris. "Sam thought you might be worried about your family, so I volunteered to do the research."

"Oh, that's not stalkery at all," Iris teased. Charlie stuck her tongue out in reply. Iris laughed. "Yeah, I never got the chance to check up on them. Didn't want to put them in danger, never got the time to try to check up on them electronically."

Charlie smiled back. "Let's start with your relatives. Your parents have retired to Florida, and your brother is married with a couple of kids and living in Florida nearby."

Iris breathed a sigh of relief. "That all sounds… good for them. I'm a bit surprised my brother decided to have kids, though. What about," and here Iris swallowed against her closing throat before continuing, "what about Tim?"

Iris's heart constricted painfully when Charlie looked a bit reluctant to say. When she spoke, it was with slow caution. "He remarried very quickly." Iris's tense posture relaxed a bit, and Charlie seemed a bit surprised by that. Charlie continued in that same cautious tone, "He was actually under suspicion of having something to do with your death because of how unaffected he seemed to be and how quickly he moved on."

Iris gasped and covered her mouth with one hand. "He wasn't arrested?" she asked in alarm from behind her hand.

"Don't worry," Charlie waived her hand as if to push the worry aside, "he wasn't arrested or anything. After the coroner's report came out stating that you had definitely been attacked by a large dog, that suspicion went away."

Iris laughed with relief. "I thought you were going to tell me something bad had happened to him."

Charlie looked confused by her reaction. "You're married to a guy for eight years, and you're not upset he remarried within a year and didn't seem at all affected by your death?" she asked incredulously.

Iris chuckled. "That was part of the deal, actually, and if I'm honest, I'm surprised they honored that part. If I was going to have to go after ten good years, I didn't want any of my loved ones adversely affected by my death." She paused briefly and then continued, "I guess part of the suspicion was the life insurance policy?"

Charlie's mouth was agape. She snapped it shut and blinked several times. "Uh, yeah, it was." She shook her head as she let out a small chuckle. "You are a piece of work."

Iris smiled brightly. "So I've been told." She patted Charlie's knee. "Thanks for that. Takes a load off my mind."

Charlie glanced at the hand, then back up at Iris's face. "Yeah, sure. Happy to do it."

Iris took her hand back and leaned back on her elbows. "Any other news to share?"

"Uh, not about your family, but I thought you should know that Sam wants to figure out the mystery of how you ended up different from other demons and wants to go over your deal in detail, if and when you're ready."

Iris threw her head back and groaned. "Yeah, that's fine, I just… not tonight."

"No, no, of course not." Silence stretched on between them for a while. Finally, Charlie said, "Can I ask you something?" When Iris indicated for her to continue, Charlie asked, "I really wasn't getting straight vibes from you, but you were married to a man?"

Iris blushed and smiled. "I'm bi. Well, I've been pretty much celibate for a long time, being on the run does that to a person I guess, but…" Iris trailed off, flushing a deeper shade of red. She looked at the ceiling as she continued, "It's been so long since I've been able to have any real relationships. Where I wasn't trying to get information or a favor out of someone, where I could take my time and get to know a person just because I genuinely wanted to. At this point, I feel like I wouldn't even know where to start with making a friend, let alone dating someone." The blush had left her cheeks, but now Iris began to blink against tears that threatened to spill over. "And it's nice of you guys to let me stay, but right now I don't even know where I should belong or what I should do with myself."

The few moments of silence after her rambling speech seemed frighteningly loud to Iris's ears. She was too afraid to look at Charlie, so she sat back up and turned away to swipe at her eyes. "Sorry, I-"

What she'd been going to say died on her lips when Iris felt a hand on her shoulder. "I can't really help with the big questions, but I'd really like to get to know you," Charlie said gently. Iris turned back to Charlie in surprise, and Charlie grinned. "I'm guessing you didn't get to see many movies since 2003, huh? We've got some major movie history to catch you up on! I missed out on a ton of pop culture myself, but I've watched a number of the Marvel movies, and they're super good. Wanna pile up the pillows and watch the first one on my laptop here?"

Iris sniffed and smiled. "I'd like that."

*

The next morning, Iris was getting herself some coffee when Sam walked into the kitchen, obviously getting back from a morning run. "Hey Sam," Iris greeted. Sam returned the greeting and Iris continued, "Charlie said you wanted to go over things with me. I think I'm okay with that. Maybe once Charlie gets up we can go over it all together?"

Sam looked pleasantly surprised. "Yeah, sure. Mind if Dean and Cas sit in as well?"

Iris shrugged to cover her discomfort at the idea. "I guess that's fine. They're all going to hear the story eventually anyway, I guess. I'm not super comfortable talking to a group like that, but I'll bear with it."

"I appreciate it. Sleep okay last night?" Sam asked in an expectant tone of voice.

Iris shrugged. "Fine. Pretty deeply, actually. Like I blinked and it was morning."

Sam started with surprise. "No nightmares?"

Iris raised an eyebrow. "No… there a problem with that?"

Sam shook his head slightly. "No, no. It's just... um, unexpected."

Iris shrugged. "Seems like none of this has gone the way it seems like it should've."

"Fair point," Sam replied.

*

Later that afternoon, Iris, Charlie, Sam, Dean and Cas all met in the Archives. "Okay," Sam said, "Let's start with how you ended up making a deal with a demon in the first place."

"Okay," Iris began, "I was in college, and I went to a party held by a circle of friends I didn't normally hang out with…."


End file.
